Slipping Away
by iheartCallieTorres
Summary: Callie isn't happy about Arizona moving to Africa. This is set during 7x06, after Arizona accepts the grant but before Callie decided to go with her. Their "discussions" on the topic. Most likely a one-shot.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Slipping Away

**Author: **laurenxx3 (iheartcallietorres on ff)

**Pairing: **Callie/Arizona

**Rating:** PG-13

**Summary:** Callie isn't happy about Arizona moving to Africa. This is set during 7x06, after Arizona accepts the grant but before Callie decided to go with her. Their "discussions" on the topic. Most likely a one-shot.

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill. All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I don't own anything. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.

**A/N: **I have absolutely NO medical knowledge beyond what I see/hear on Grey's Anatomy, so forgive me of any medical-related errors. Also, this is un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you come across any, but I'm pretty OCD about grammar and spelling, so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. As always, comments are much appreciated (and will encourage me to write more fics in the future - *hint, hint*).

**A/N2:** Since we don't know anything about the Carter Madison Grant other than that it's taking Arizona to Africa, I'm using creative license with the details of the grant (specific location, length of time, etc). If details about the grant are specified in 7x07 or beyond, I will not change what I have in this fic. I apologize ahead of time if my creative license does not match Shondaland reality when it comes to the Carter Madison Grant. Also, this is a lot, umm, angstier than most of my fics. I'm just in an angsty mood, so this is the product. If I do write more chapters (and that's a _huge_ IF), it'll probably turn out happy and lovey dovey, but not for now.

* * *

_[Callie's POV]_

"Why can't you just be happy for me?"

The question echoed though my mind all day since our heated encounter in the lounge this morning. We'd been interrupted by Alex and the damn camera crew. I'd never been so grateful for the interruption. I was on the verge of telling Arizona just how unhappy I was for her.

I opened the refrigerator door angrily and it slammed against the wall with a resounded thud. It did nothing to diminish my frustration. The frustration that I knew was unfair to Arizona, which made me even more frustrated at myself.

I grabbed a bottle of water and twisted off the cap, taking several gulps of the cold water.

Arizona was due to be home any minute, so I prepared myself mentally to continue the "discussion" she and I had started in the lounge earlier. I know she was upset with me. I can't really blame her, but I also can't help being upset myself. I shouldn't have to explain why.

Right on cue, I heard a key in the door and it swung open. I took another drink of water in order to avoid Arizona's gaze, which I knew was filled with hurt and anger.

"You never answered me," she said, immediately pulling off her jacket and tossing it along with her purse and keys onto the chair. She faced me, hands planted firmly on her hips. Her posture told me she was primed for a fight.

I swallowed the water and placed the plastic bottle on the counter with a lot more calmness than I felt on the inside. I finally met her gaze. "What was the question?" I asked, stalling. I knew what she referring to. The same question that had been reverberating though my head all day.

Arizona raised her eyebrows and took several steps forward until she stood in front of me, the counter between us acting as a buffer. For the moment, I was thankful for that distance.

"Why can't you just be happy for me?" Arizona asked for the second time that day. "Do you realize how big this is? How many kids I can save?"

I clenched my teeth and took a deep breath to allow myself to think before speaking, a trait I've only acquired since Arizona came into my life. "I get it, Arizona," I said slowly, forcing my voice to remain steady and unwavering. "I do. It's fucking amazing. And I'm proud of you, I really am." A small smile played across my lips. "My girlfriend is a recipient of a Carter Madison Grant." My smiled suddenly disappeared, replaced by a grave expression. I rolled my lips inward to stop the whimper that struggled to escape. "Only, when you leave," I continued slowly, "you won't be my girlfriend anymore." My eye welled as those words rolled begrudgingly off my tongue.

Arizona's angered expression turned to one of confusion. "

I stared at her incuriously. "Are you serious? Arizona, you were freaking out about a long distance relationship between here and Portland. Africa is on the other side of the friggen world. Ten thousand miles is pretty long distance."

"That was before," Arizona tried to rationalize. "We'd just started dating."

"And it's different now?" I questioned unbelievingly.

"Of course it is!" Arizona insisted. "I can come back to visit and you can come to me-"

I rolled my eyes and groaned in frustration. "What? A weekend a month for the next five years? Possibly longer? So I get to see you a total of 120 days over the next five years? Do you know how fucking insane I'd go? To have you, but not be able to talk to you every day? Sleep next to you every night?" I lost the battle with my tears and one slipped down my cheek. I swiped it away angrily with the back of my hand. I notice it was trembling. I sniffled. "I thought… I thought we were happy. We just moved in together. I have… had… this idea in my head. This perfect, ideal plan that in a year or two, we'd get married, move into a house, and… and I'd finally have that forever kind of love, you know?"

"Calliope-"

"I know that this is an incredible opportunity," I said, not allowing her to speak. "I know that, and I know that I'm being a bitch to even think like this, but I can't help it. No, I don't want you to go and no, I can't 'just be happy for you.'" My eyes pleaded with her. "How could be happy about something that takes you away from me?" My voice was barely audible for the last statement, cracking on the last word.

I saw Arizona swallow hard, drawing in a slow, deep breath. I wasn't sure if she were trying to control anger or sadness. She licked her lips and seemed to be contemplating her response. Her eyes never left mine as she thought. "How could I turn it down?"

I was silent for nearly a minute, just looking at the woman I loved more than anyone. The woman I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. The woman who'd promised forever just a few months ago. The woman who held my metaphysical heart in her hands. The woman who had the sole power to rip that heart to pieces.

I shook my head slowly, barely moving. "I don't know," I whispered. I looked down at the countertop, tracing the marble pattern with my index finger, feeling the smooth coolness. "I just… don't want to be broken again." I met her gaze again. "But I can't stop you. And I can't ask you to turn it down. Not for me."

"Calliope," she started. "I love you. More than I've ever loved anyone. And I hate that this is happening. You have to know how much I hate this. You have to know how much I hate that I have to leave."

"I should be used to it by now," I said sarcastically, feeling the frustration reclaim my emotions. "People always leave me."

I immediately regretted allowing the words to tumble past my lips. I didn't feel like explaining them. I didn't feel I should have to.

Confusion marred her face, several deep ridges forming on her otherwise perfect forehead.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, her voice quiet and almost meek, as opposed to the acute anger present on her tongue just minutes ago.

"I…" My voice trailed off. I bit my lip, then shook my head. My eyes closed tightly, my fists clenched tight at my sides. "Nothing. I… I should go. I told Mark, Derek and Owen I'd meet them at Joe's to celebrate our breakthrough surgery that you've yet to congratulate me on where I was a fucking rock star." I grabbed my leather jacket and walked out the door before she could stop me.

The door shut behind me with a soft click, the sound like a bullet to the chest. I laughed bitterly at the irony of my metaphor. The shooting is what had brought us back together. Now I wished I'd never been stuck on the same floor as Arizona. Maybe then I wouldn't be falling apart for a second time, only it was time ten times worse than the last time. Last time, I'd never given up hope that we'd get back together. This time, though, it seemed like there was no hope.

I felt my love slipping away. Again. Fuck.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Slipping Away (2/2)

**Author: **laurenxx3 (iheartcallietorres on ff)

**Pairing: **Callie/Arizona

**Rating:** PG-13

**Summary:** Callie isn't happy about Arizona moving to Africa. This is set during 7x06, after Arizona accepts the grant but before Callie decided to go with her. Their "discussions" on the topic. I AM SPOILER-FREE, SO THIS SHOULD CONTAIN NO SPOILERS FOR 7x07 & BEYOND. Any spoilers included are pure coincidence!

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill. All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I don't own anything. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.

**A/N: **I have absolutely NO medical knowledge beyond what I see/hear on Grey's Anatomy, so forgive me of any medical-related errors. Also, this is un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you come across any, but I'm pretty OCD about grammar and spelling, so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. As always, comments are much appreciated (and will encourage me to write more fics in the future - *hint, hint*).

**A/N2:** Okay, okay. Y'all convinced [*ahem* _bullied_] me into continuing this. Since I don't really have much time to write these days due to my FIVE upper-level college classes and work, I'm just making this a second installment for now. Again, I may or may not continue, but I hope you won't be as, um, upset with the way this one ends. Again, since we don't know anything about the Carter Madison Grant other than that it's taking Arizona to Africa (and the fact that I'm completely spoiler-free), I'm using creative license with the details of the grant (specific location, length of time, etc). If details about the grant are specified in 7x07 or beyond, I will not change what I have in this fic. I apologize ahead of time if my creative license does not match Shondaland reality when it comes to the Carter Madison Grant.

* * *

_[Callie's POV]_

I laughed along with something Mark said, aware of the cameras burning holes into the back of my head. I really didn't want to have to put on the smiling, laughing, having a good time front, but I had no choice. What I really wanted to do was wallow in self pity. Drink away my sorrows. Maybe break a bone or two.

After what felt like hours but was really only forty-five minutes, the camera crew wrapped up and left, and I sighed in relief. I grabbed my drink and took a large gulp, the burning of the alcohol not really doing much to take away the pain.

The guys kept up the lively chatter, but I became silent, letting my mind drift back to an hour ago and my conversation with Arizona back at our apartment. I really hadn't meant to say that. It was true. People do seem to leave me. They never stay for long. They cheat with a supermodel, leave me in parking lots or, even better, leave the country-the continent!-all together. But I knew it wasn't fair to try and guilt her into staying. She'd only resent me in the long run.

"Torres, are you with us?" Mark's question snapped me out of my brooding. I gave him a weak smile.

"Yeah, sure," I said. "Just tired. I think I'm gonna head out." I placed some cash on the table and started to stand, only to realize I didn't have anywhere to go. I wasn't ready to go back to the apartment just yet. I needed time to think before I said something else I'd regret saying. I couldn't go to the hospital because, well, my shift was over.

Mark seemed to notice my hesitation and stood as well. "I'll catch up with you guys later," he said. He took my arm and led me out of the bar. Once outside, he turned to me. "What's up with you?" he asked, concern written all over his face.

I shook my head. "I can't… go home right now." I studied my shoes, rolling a rock under the toe of my black flats as I tried to keep the tears at bay. "I just… can't."

Mark grabbed my hand and pulled me behind him. Once inside our apartment building, he led me to his apartment and forced me to sit on the couch. "What happened?" he asked, sitting next to me.

I sighed and buried my face in my hands, my elbows propped on my knees. This time I couldn't stop the tears. My shoulders shook with the force and I couldn't stop the sobs from wracking through me.

"Callie," Mark said, rubbing his hand soothingly over my back before pulling me to him in a comforting hug. I cried on his shoulder, literally, for several minutes before I could regain my composure. My tears finally stopped and I sat up, wiping the wetness from my cheeks. I sniffled.

"Is this about Arizona?" Mark asked softly.

I nearly burst into tears again, but managed to hold them back. I nodded.

"I know I was flippant earlier in the OR," Mark said. I snorted. "But really, can't you just visit each other a lot? I mean, doesn't your dad have a private jet or something?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "It's not that simple, Mark," I said, leaning back against the couch and folding my arms across my chest. "It's five years. Maybe longer. It's just not possible to keep our relationship going if we're on different continents for five years. We may as well be on different planets!"

Mark held up his hands in surrender.

"I don't know what to do," I whispered, pleading with him with my eyes. "Tell me what to do."

He opened his mouth, then closed it. I could already tell he was at a giant loss for words. He sighed, then leaned back next to me, folding his own arms to match my pose. "I don't know, Callie," he said, shaking his head. "I don't know."

We were silent for the next several minutes, the only sound disrupting the silence was the drizzle that had started to fall outside, perfectly matching my mood.

"Did she accept it yet?" Mark asked a while later, finally breaking the silence.

"Yep." I didn't elaborate. I didn't have to. Mark knew me that well.

"So she's moving to Africa?"

"She's moving to Africa."

Silence fell again, the rain the only sound permeating the air.

I contemplated whether to spend the night on Mark's couch or to return to our apartment across the hall. I really wasn't in the mood to explain or try and be civil, but I knew staying at Mark's wouldn't help things.

I was saved by the bell, however. Or, rather, I was saved by the pager. A 9-1-1 from Bailey. I rushed across the street to the hospital and into to the busy ER after making a quick change into my scrubs.

"What happened?" I asked Bailey as she thrust a chart into my hands.

"Multi-car MVC on the 405," she hurried, leading me to the Ambulance bay. "Most severely injured are being brought here. We're expecting a parade of injured any minute now." I nodded as I tied my trauma gown in the back, thankful for a distraction.

I hated to be thankful for people being injured, but I could go for a long, tedious surgery right about now.

..::~::*::~::..

I discovered that I should be more careful what I wish for.

I collapsed onto an on-call room bed, exhausted beyond belief from the ten and a half hour surgery I'd just endured. On a twelve year old boy. Standing next to Arizona the entire time.

I groaned and turned onto my side, facing the wall, intent on getting some sleep. I could technically go home since my actual shift wasn't due to start for another nine hours. But I was too tired to even walk across the street.

Actually, during the surgery, I'd been fine. My attention was focused on the crushed legs of the young boy in front of me as I worked to give him the opportunity to walk again as Arizona and Alex worked to repair his internal injuries. I'd finished first, hurriedly scrubbing out and making my way to the on-call room.

I closed my eyes, trying to fall asleep, but unable to stop thinking about Africa and how much I hated it now that it was taking Arizona away from me.

I heard the door to the on-call room open and someone enter the room, quietly shutting the door behind them. I knew instantly that it was Arizona, which was confirmed when I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. I feigned sleep.

"I know you're awake, Calliope," Arizona said softly.

I sighed and rolled onto my back. Arizona sat on the edge of the bed and sighed heavily. She leaned down and kissed me. I could almost feel the desperation in her kiss as she cupped my cheeks in her hands. She pulled back, giving me one last kiss before sitting up. She quickly took off her shoes and joined me under the covers of the narrow bed. I moved over towards the wall to allow her room to lay. I could tell from her kiss that now was not the time to argue. She needed me to hold her while she held me, so I didn't say anything as our arms wrapped around each other and our legs intertwined underneath the covers.

For a moment, I forgot about everything except the two of us in that on-call room. I forgot about Africa and sick kids. I forgot about that bastard, Carter Madison and his grant. The only thing I could think of was Arizona and how incredible it still felt to hold her in my arms. How sweet her hair smelled from her coconut-scented shampoo.

Arizona broke the silence that had fallen upon us a few moments later. "I wouldn't apply for it now, you know," she said into my chest.

"What?" I questioned.

"The grant," she said, pulling back slightly to look up at me. "I applied for it two years ago, before we'd even met. I wouldn't apply for it now, but I applied for it then. I can't change that. I committed myself when I applied."

"I know," I whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple. "I'm not mad at you for going. You have to go. I'm just… mad a the situation. I'm sorry for taking it out on you."

Arizona shook her head. "Shhh, it's okay," she whispered into my neck. I felt her inhale deeply, as if trying to capture my scent to take with her. "I'm not leaving _you_, you know," she continued softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, but didn't otherwise acknowledge what she'd said.

"Earlier," she continued after a few beats, "back at the apartment… you said people always leave you. I'm not leaving you, Calliope. You've done nothing wrong and it's killing me that I have to go without you be my side. I love you. So much."

I was silent again for a few moments, contemplating what she'd just said. A sudden thought entered my mind and it was all I could focus on. "Why?"

Arizona pulled back slightly to look up at me as she knit her eyebrows together. "Why what?" she asked in confusion.

I took a deep breath. "Why do you have to go without me by your side? Who says I can't go with you?"

"Calliope-"

"No, think about it," I said, cutting her off, my heart suddenly racing. "You're allowed to bring a team of doctors with you, right? Surgeons? You'll need a kickass ortho surgeon there with you to fix all the broken bones of the tiny humans. I can… I can go with you."

"To Africa?" she questioned, obviously unable to believe my suggestion.

"To Africa," I confirmed, suddenly both exhilarated and scared out of my wits at the same time. "Why didn't I think of this before? It's brilliant!"

Arizona sighed. "Calliope, this is a big decision. No, it's _huge_."

I nodded. "I know, but it makes perfect sense! I'm familiar with what it's like to work in a third world country, Arizona. I was in the Peace Corps for two years. I know what I'm getting myself into." I pulled her tighter against me and buried my face in her hair, inhaling deeply.

Arizona pulled back and forced me to look at her. "Do you really want to go or are you just going to be with me?"

"I want to be with you," I answered earnestly.

"That's not what I asked," she said.

I cupped her cheek in my hand. "I love you and would do anything to be with you," I pleaded with her. "I don't care where we are-here in Seattle or on the other side of the Earth in freaking Africa. As long as I'm with you, I'm home."

I saw Arizona swallow hard in attempt to staunch her tears, but she was failing. One escaped and rolled down her temple towards the pillow below her cheek. I brushed it away with my thumb. "You're amazing, you know that?" she whispered around a sniffle.

I smiled. "So I've been told."

Arizona suddenly sat up, bringing me with her so that we faced one another. She took my hands in hers and brought them to her lips, kissing them softly. She kept my gaze the entire time. "I want you to promise me something," she said.

I nodded.

"Just think about this before you make a rash decision. Think about all you'll have to leave behind-family, friends, the hospital."

I shook my head. "I won't change my mind, Arizona."

"Please," she said. "Just think about it."

I sighed, but saw how important it was to her, so I nodded. "Okay," I said. "I'll think about it."

She smiled, showing me her dimples once again. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine. "I love you," she said as she pulled back. "And I'd love to have such a talented, hardcore, kickass surgeon on my team of doctors."


End file.
